"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." Paul Boese
Definition Forgiveness means to give up resentment against or the desire to punish; and to pardon an offense or cancel a debt.
"Example As poet Edwin Markham approached his retirement years, he discovered that the man to whom he had entrusted his financial portfolio had squandered all the money. Markham's dream of a comfortable retirement vanished. He began to brood over the injustice and the loss. His anger deepened. Over time, Markham's bitterness grew by leaps and bounds. One day while sitting at his table, Markham found himself drawing circles as he tried to soothe the turmoil he felt within. Finally, he concluded: "I must forgive him, and I will forgive him." Looking again at the circles he had drawn on the paper before him, Markham wrote these lines:
He drew a circle to shut me out, Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout;
But love and I had the wit to win,
We drew a circle to take him in.
Although Markham wrote hundreds of poems contained in many book volumes, the words he wrote while forgiving are his most popular and memorable. As he forgave, a tremendous act of creativity was released within Markham. The poets and mystics among us have long known and declared that the act of forgiveness releases great healing power" (Victor Parachin)
Why should we forgive ?
* "Holding a grudge takes mental, emotional and physical energy. It makes you obsessive, angry and depressed." Observes Barry Lubetkin, a psychologist in New York. There's a strong connection between anger, stress and ilnesses - chronic stomach upset, heart problems and skin conditions. Incest survivors improve their mental health when therapists help them learn to forgive.
* Nursing resentment and lack of forgivness gives others power over you. It is always a mistake to let such negative emotions influence your living.
* Recognize the ripple effect of not forgiving. An unforgiving and bitter person can poison their whole family and friends. Gandhi said "An eye for an eye will blind the whole world"
* Change of self inspires change of others. Forgiving is a key attribute of a successful marriage. Forgiveness will not be possible if we view justice as revenge. Instead, we must see justice as reformation. Gandhi taught, "We must be the change we wish to see."
* Frequent and intense negative thoughts about the past block the emotions of contentment and satisfaction making serenity and peace impossible.
* Forgivness is a gift you give yourself. Bitterness and anger imprison you emotionally. Forgivness sets you free from the past so you can move ahead with life.
* Forgiving ourselves for our own mistakes and weaknesses is crucial for our own happiness and vital to developing empathy so we can forgive others.
* Discover the paradox of forgiveness. As you give the gift of forgivness to others, you receive the gift of peace.
By Dennis Merimsky
Lotus Guidance for Change
